How To Sleep When Stressed
How to Sleep When You're Stressed: A Therapist's Guide to Restful Nights
Stress is an inevitable part of life, but for many people, it’s the culprit behind restless nights and disrupted sleep. Whether it's due to work pressures, personal issues, or the weight of everyday responsibilities, stress can make it incredibly difficult to unwind at the end of the day. As a therapist, I often work with clients who struggle with falling asleep or staying asleep when stress levels are high. The mental and physical toll of poor sleep only exacerbates stress, creating a vicious cycle that feels impossible to break.
If you find yourself lying awake, mind racing, here are some strategies to help you sleep when you're stressed—backed by both psychological techniques and research-backed practices.
1. Acknowledge the Stress—Don’t Ignore It
One of the first things I tell clients is that it’s okay to acknowledge your stress. When we try to "push it away" or distract ourselves from it, the brain often ends up focusing on it even more. A simple practice of self-compassion can make a big difference. Instead of criticizing yourself for feeling stressed, recognize that it’s a natural response to life’s challenges. Reassure yourself that it’s okay to be feeling this way.
Once you’ve acknowledged your stress, try a grounding exercise. Focus on your breathing, and bring your attention to the present moment. This can help ease the tension in your body and stop the mental spiral that keeps you awake.
2. Create a Calming Bedtime Routine
Stress often makes it difficult to “shut down” at the end of the day. A consistent and calming bedtime routine signals to your body that it’s time to relax and prepare for sleep. This routine should be relaxing and not stimulating.
Here are some ideas to incorporate into your nightly routine:
Practice mindfulness or meditation: A short, 10-minute session can help lower your heart rate and calm your mind.
Progressive muscle relaxation: This technique involves tensing and relaxing muscle groups from your feet to your head, helping to release physical tension.
Journaling: If your mind is racing, writing down your thoughts can help create a sense of closure on the day's stress. You can list your worries or even jot down three things you’re grateful for.
Creating a ritual that signals to your mind and body that it’s time for rest can help set the stage for deeper sleep, especially when you’re feeling stressed.
3. Manage Stress Throughout the Day
If you’re someone who often lies awake thinking about unresolved stressors from the day, it’s important to manage your stress throughout the day, not just at bedtime. Stress accumulates over time, and poor sleep can worsen it. Building stress management into your daily routine can help ease the burden on your body and mind at night.
Mindfulness breaks: Taking short breaks throughout the day to check in with yourself and practice deep breathing can help prevent stress from building up.
Exercise: Physical activity is a great way to release tension and improve sleep quality. Even a 20-minute walk can lower stress hormones like cortisol and boost the production of mood-enhancing endorphins.
Time management: If stress is related to a heavy workload or too many commitments, try breaking tasks down into manageable chunks and creating a schedule. It’s easier to sleep when you feel like you’ve taken proactive steps to address the causes of stress.
By addressing stress earlier in the day, you reduce the chance that it will carry over into your sleep.
4. Limit Stimulants and Distractions
What we do in the hours leading up to bedtime can make a significant impact on our ability to fall asleep. If you’re stressed, avoid caffeine, nicotine, and other stimulants in the afternoon and evening, as they can keep your body in a heightened state of alertness. Even alcohol, while it may initially make you feel sleepy, can disrupt your sleep cycle and lead to restless nights.
Additionally, try to limit screen time before bed. The blue light emitted from phones, tablets, and computers can interfere with the production of melatonin, the hormone that regulates sleep. Instead, consider reading a book or engaging in a relaxing activity to ease your mind.
5. Create a Sleep-Friendly Environment
A calming sleep environment can help counteract the effects of stress on your body and mind. Pay attention to factors like light, sound, and temperature to optimize your bedroom for sleep.
Darkness: Make your room as dark as possible, either with blackout curtains or a sleep mask.
Noise: If noise is a concern, consider using earplugs or a white noise machine to drown out distractions.
Temperature: Keep your bedroom cool—ideally around 65°F (18°C)—as a cooler environment helps promote deeper, more restful sleep.
Make sure your bed is comfortable, too. If you find that your mattress or pillow is causing discomfort, it may be worth investing in a better sleep setup.
6. Practice Cognitive Behavioral Techniques
If your stress is deeply tied to anxious thoughts or worrying about not sleeping, cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I) is an effective method to address the patterns that keep you awake. CBT-I involves identifying and challenging unhelpful thoughts and beliefs about sleep, replacing them with healthier, more realistic ones.
For example, instead of catastrophizing with thoughts like “I’ll never fall asleep,” try reframing it as “Even if I don’t fall asleep right away, I’m still resting, and that’s helpful for my body.”
This technique helps break the negative thought patterns that can fuel stress and insomnia.
7. When Sleep Doesn’t Come, Get Up
If you find yourself lying awake for more than 20 minutes, get out of bed. Lying in bed stressing about not sleeping often makes the situation worse. Instead, go to another room and engage in a relaxing activity, such as reading, listening to calming music, or practicing deep breathing. When you feel sleepy, return to bed.
This strategy helps to break the association between your bed and stress, allowing your mind to see the bed as a place of rest rather than anxiety.
8. Be Kind to Yourself
It’s important to remember that it’s normal to have nights where you don’t sleep well, especially when you’re stressed. Be kind to yourself and avoid blaming or criticizing yourself for not getting the perfect amount of rest. Self-criticism only adds to your stress and anxiety, which can further interfere with sleep.
Instead, practice self-compassion. Accept that stress is part of life, and on tough nights, just focus on getting rest—even if you’re not able to sleep right away.
Conclusion: Finding Rest in Stressful Times
Stress can be overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to steal your sleep. By incorporating strategies to manage stress throughout the day, creating a relaxing bedtime routine, and cultivating a sleep-friendly environment, you can improve your chances of getting restful sleep, even during the most stressful times. Remember, sleep is a vital part of your well-being. Treat it with the care it deserves, and you’ll find that you’re better equipped to handle the challenges of the day.
If stress and sleep difficulties persist, it might be helpful to seek support from a therapist who can guide you through strategies to manage anxiety and build better sleep habits.
